Green Regret
by 630leosa
Summary: Set directly after the Green With Evil miniseries. Tommy doesn't understand how he can be forgiven for the things he's done.


Tommy sat alone at the edge of the lake in a deserted part of the park, staring up at the evening sky. The sky had been so clear that the moon had been visible since the late afternoon, and he couldn't help feeling drawn to it.

It felt strange to stare up at the moon, knowing that less then twenty-four hours ago, he had been stood on the balcony of Empress Rita's moon palace, staring down at the Earth. Ready to do everything in his power to help his Empress conquer it.

His eyes flickered first to his Dragon Dagger, lying on top of his duffle bag where it had been left after training with it, to the Power Coin in his hand. He was given both to cause chaos and destruction, which he'd done plenty of during the last few days, as the evil Green Ranger.

Now suddenly they just forgave him for everything he'd done and expected him to join them against his former allies?

Not he had any feelings towards anyone at the moon palace. They were evil. What they were doing was completely unforgivable - and yet he had been part of that, one of their own, and he'd been forgiven.

It disturbed him think about how he now knew the enemy more than he knew his new 'teammates'.

The other Rangers didn't even seem to care that he had been evil. Once the spell broke they were quick to offer him a position on the team, despite what he'd done to them.

He may have been under a spell, but he could still remember every second of it. He wasn't just following orders blindly: the spell had only made him loyal to Rita, everything else was his own choice.

Billy had explained that the spell was more similar to brainwashing than mind control. That Tommy had been brainwashed to make him believe that the Power Rangers were the enemy and had to be destroyed. In his mind he was just doing what he thought he needed to do.

They thought that, now that he wasn't under some spell, he would be just be another Power Ranger. Without even knowing what sort of person he was, they had invited him into their team without a second thought!

Apparently they were personally linked to each of their power coins, and only certain people could handle the powers. What type of person was he to have been choose to receive the evil powers of the Green Ranger?

He looked at his own reflection in the lake. His dark hair was scraped back from his face into a tight ponytail. He was wearing black bottoms and a loose, green, sleeveless shirt. He frowned at the colour. Green had always been his favourite colour, but now it just felt wrong.

His eyes were rimmed with dark bags betraying how little he'd slept last night. Every time he closed his eyes he could see it: the destruction he'd caused, the looks on the Rangers' faces when they found out who was behind the attacks, Jason…

That's what hurt the most to think about. Jason lying there, beaten, holding his Morpher but unable to use it as Tommy was slowly crushing his arm under his foot. The pride and sadistic pleasure he felt at holding the Sword of Darkness to Jason's chest, preparing to slice open his chest and finally be rid of the Red Ranger forever.

In Tommy's nightmares, Jason didn't teleport out. Tommy could see all the pain etched on the young leader's face as his screams filled the prison dimension, his red shirt turning brown as the blood started to dry.

But the worst sound was coming from his own throat. The dark laughter that seemed to come from everywhere at once, slightly distorted through his helmet.

It made him feel sick.

And yet Jason was the first to offer him a place on the team, to try and forgive him for what he'd done, even after coming so close to killing him.

He didn't deserve to be forgiven. They didn't deserve someone like him on their team.

It was hard enough just to return to the Command Centre, he'd been there three times now.

Once he had succeeded in destroying most of the Command Centre, feeding Alpha 5 a virus, severing Zordon's link to our dimension and leaving the Rangers in the dark until Billy had managed to make the repairs.

The second time he'd gone to finish the job and sabotage the repairs. Fortunately they had been ready for him and caught him in a forcefield…

The third time, Zordon had welcomed him onto the team.

He'd agreed to join them to try to make up for the things that he'd done - but the more he thought about it, the less likely it seemed to be possible. No matter how good he tried to be now, it didn't make up for how evil he had been... and possibly still was.

To have become the evil Green Ranger, Rita must have seen a dark streak in him. Something that was there before he'd been bewitched with her spell. Something that couldn't be destroyed with the Sword of Darkness alone.

Tomorrow he'd have to go to school and pretend that he was fine, spend most of his classes with the other rangers and hope that Rita hadn't planned anything for that day.

Once again his eyes snapped up to the moon, now shining brightly in the darkened sky. He hadn't realised how late it was but he somehow couldn't find the energy to move.

There were only a few visible stars in the sky, looking pale in comparison to the brightness of the moon that lit up night sky and flooded the deserted park with its soft glow. It looked so inviting, as if Rita was offering him back to her.

Part of him longed to be back under the spell. It was so easy being evil. He didn't have to feel the guilt for his actions, and his twisted conscience didn't care about the hurt and destruction.

It was hard to be the hero. He could look after himself fine, and he'd stood up for the few friends he'd had over the years, but it was completely different to know that the fate of the world was constantly on your shoulders. He wasn't sure if he was up to handling that.

His lips curled into a sad smile as he look down at the Dragon Dagger. He'd only used the Dragonzord a few times, but he already felt as if it was an old friend.

He knew it was stupid; it was only a machine, but he actually felt jealous of it. The Dragonzord was in the same position as him, changing its alliance from bad to good, but without all the feelings and emotions that were tearing Tommy apart. It lived under the sea, not in a hangar with the other Zords. It didn't have to worry about fitting in, or about what it had done.

Tommy didn't realise that he'd picked up the dagger, too lost in his thoughts to really notice, until he caught his reflection in the still waters of the lake.

The dagger was shining with the light from the moon, reflecting the light back onto his face.

The dagger was held harmlessly in front of him, but in the reflection it seemed to be hovering over his throat. A grim smirk placed across his features at the thought. It wouldn't be irony, it would be poetic justice. Tommy Oliver killed the Green Ranger. Almost unconsciously he moved the dagger sideways, making the dagger slice across the reflection's neck.

The light reflected from the dagger moved away from Tommy's face, leaving his features looking dark and hollow. The light caught on his Power Coin, now shining brightly against the black fabric of his trousers.

He closed his eyes and moved the dagger, vaguely aware of the tears that were building behind his eyelids.

The dagger fell harmlessly to the floor.

It was the coward's way out. A way to stop from feeling all the hurt and shame that he deserved. He didn't deserve that escape.

His mind and body felt numb with that realisation. He finally knew what he had to do.

The dagger disappeared as he placed his Power Coin safely in his pocket, ready to be called forth the next time it was needed.

His Power Coin was linked to him, and the Rangers needed that power if they were ever to succeed. If he was gone then so was the power, he would be robbing them of something that he didn't even want, something he didn't even deserve to have.

Tommy didn't remember driving home, or getting undressed for bed. His eyes were closed almost before his head hit the pillow.

Tomorrow he would get up, go to school and help the Rangers as much as he could to try to make up for the all the things that he had done. He had to learn to live with the guilt and the pain, it was his own private hell inside his head.

And it was just what he deserved.


End file.
